Dear LORD:
Thank you for our lives together as a couple. We have been through so much together. It is amazing the journey we have been on, and how far we have come. Be with us until the end, wherever that may lead. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ just now was laying your hand across my shoulder. I love it when you touch me!
These are not just three separate instances, but three sets of instances. I think you will see what I mean.
The first set of instances was the birth of our three children. Being with you and watching you give birth to our babies was an amazing, life changing experience for me. I wish I could be privileged to be in the presence of birth again in my life, but I seriously doubt that will ever happen again. My gender works against me on that one. Being with you for our three children’s births was a privilege that I will always treasure.
The feeling that I had about you in each of these instances was one of admiration and respect. I was totally blown away at how much heart it took for you to give birth to three healthy babies. You did an incredible job every time. I gained such a huge measure of respect for you as a person at that point in our lives. I could never doubt your commitment to our family because of the way you were so responsible and involved in the beginning.
The second set of instances was the death of our parents, your father and my father and mother. It seems appropriately symmetrical to me that the first set of instances has to do with birth and the second set has to do with death. These are the two bookends that bracket our lives after all. However, when I stood next to you at your father’s funeral and watched the pallbearers put him into the crypt, looking on as you wept openly, I felt a spiritual connection to you like none other. In the same way, although the events of my parents’ deaths was terribly painful and difficult, and filled with stressful events like your conflict with my brother, Jim, still being there with you through those events brought about a deep and profoundly spiritual closeness. That would be my feeling, one of closeness and connection. I felt totally connected to you at that time, like there was no force in this life that could ever tear us apart.
The third event, and it is a single event this time, was our reunion, especially our time on the bench in Duke Garden. I felt wonderfully close to you at that time. The sexual tension, combined by the intense need for emotional intimacy, made that experience incredibly intense and powerful. My feeling at that time was one of unity. We were being reunited. What was for a while two was again one. I never spent another day from that day forward without wanting to be with you, and being in a state of aching for your presence.
I remember when we were separated the first time (when you broke up with me during our dating period), I had a vision in a dream. In that dream I saw our spiritual bond, what I interpreted as our “one fleshness”. In this dream, the bond changed in consistency during our relationship. When we first became involved with each other, it was thick and strong, like a rubber tire. Still flexible, but very, very strong and secure. It was also very tight around us, binding us very close. Later, when you left me, it became very thin and wispy, almost like a vapor. If you didn’t look very carefully, you could miss it. It was almost completely transparent and invisible.
But it was still there. And the LORD showed me in that dream, that even though the bond was very thin, it was very resilient. You could push on it, and it would simply stretch. There was no limit to it. It would not break. So even as thin and intangible as it was, it was still as strong as ever. It was simply a strength of a different type.
The day after that dream was November 17, 1984. That day, I made a verbal affirmation of my vision as I woke up and got into the shower. I said aloud that morning that we would be married one year from that day, a covenant which came to pass.
I see our relationship in the same manner today. We are spiritually connected. We are necessary to each other in order to accomplish the spiritual work that we must accomplish in this life in order to become the people we are meant by God to be. There is no escape from it. Never was, never will be. We might as well cooperate. I feel that still today. You are my mate, and I am yours. That is the way it is.
I suspect they are about to call time, so I will close now.
Love
Me
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