Dear LORD:
I appreciate the invention of emotions, but why money? Makes no sense to me. It just causes trouble. Surely you could have done without that one. I will certainly want to discuss this with you when I see you. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ just now was cuddling with me when we were in the meeting. I found that very cute and endearing.
We recently had a disagreement which illustrates our difference of opinion in the area of money. I wanted to pay down the Chase credit card (basically cutting the balance in half) and you wanted me to go into the hardship program. This disagreement became quite sharp although we were able to reach a compromise (by paying two cards instead of one in the same amount).
This illustrates the difference of opinion we have in this area: I want to pay off credit cards as soon as possible and you want to spread out the payments by going into the hardship program. This makes no sense to me. Are you aware that over the period that you pay off the card, they will charge you far, far more interest than if you had simply paid the thing down? Like if you have $1,000 balance that you are paying at a rate of 7% over 5 years, you will pay $70 per year for five years = $350. That’s 35%! If you had simply paid the thing off within a short period of time, you could avoid almost all of the interest entirely. Plus have the damn thing off of your shoulders.
We learned a technique to get out of debt recently from Hans Johnson. Pay off the card with the lowest balance first. Then use the amount that you were paying on that card to attack the second card. And so forth. By doing this, you can reduce your debt very rapidly. There was nothing in that plan about going into hardship programs.
By being in a hardship program, we are tying ourselves to a five year payout and we are thus indebted to “The Man” for a long, long time. To me, this just makes no sense, especially if we have extra money to pay down credit card debt. While I am some making extra money, I would like to pay balances down as rapidly as possible, get as much of this burden off of our shoulders as possible, and then go from there.
The way this makes me feel is choked. When I think about having a large credit card debt, even at a low interest rate, on my shoulders for a long, long time, I feel choked and smothering. It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. It feels like you am in an elevator and the thing has stopped moving. Further, you hit the alarm and nothing happens. You are trapped. You don’t know if anyone knows about your situation or not. You are just stuck. This is a very intense feeling, at least an 8.
Another example would be when we were whitewater rafting and I went down. I was under for a long, long time. I probably swallowed a gallon of river water. I was completely sure I was going to die. That was a feeling of being choked, not being able to breath, not sure if you were going to make it or not.
Another example would be when we were indebted to the IRS for a million bucks. That felt the same way. Choking the life out of us. Making us feel trapped.
Another example is how it feels when someone is sitting on your chest. CSI calls this positional asphyxia. You can’t breathe because your chest is being compressed. I am not sure if you have had that experience or not, but I have. It feels terrible, and that is how our burden of credit card debt feels to me.
The 401K loan feels that way too, but there is nothing I can do about that until we file our taxes. I can pay down some of these credit cards though. I want to get the balances of as many cards as possible down to zero and then stop using them entirely. I have over $2,000 of balance available on the Chase card, and have not charged a penny on it BTW. Like I told you in that conversation, this is a brand new day, and you need to stop worrying about me charging up balances on credit cards. Nothing could tempt me to do that anymore than anyone could talk me into eating a 24 ounce porterhouse steak. I recognize poison when I see it now. And credit cards are poison, just as much as red meat is.
I want out of this box. I must get free. I must get out of this trap. I do not want to owe any more money to anyone at all, especially credit card companies. I want to just be out from underneath this burden. Free at last. Free at last.
You are probably coming pretty soon so I will close. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I will love you forever. You can trust in that. I am so into you, baby!
Love
Me
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