Dear LORD:
Thank you for our children. Help us to be good parents of these wonderful people. They are all very precious to me and to you. Amen!
Dearest Ruth:
It's kind of early, so you have yet to do much today. However, you have already racked up a couple of MEQs:
1. You made oatmeal.
2. You loved it when I touched you. (I love touching you.)
3. You wanted to dialog. (It's the first time we have ever dialoged this early!)
Pretty impressive!
The way I feel about our children varies with the child. I will take each in turn:
Samuel:
My strongest feeling about Sam is concern. I am also frustrated, annoyed, and a bit pissed off with Sam. I tend to behave in a passive aggressive manner towards him.
Sam is choosing to live a dysfunctional, self-destructive life. He was not raised that way. He knows better. We were not perfect parents, for sure, but we have done a reasonably good job of setting a better example than that.
I think that Sam needs to get his shit together. My desire to help him is fairly low, since he is not doing much for himself. He has also been a negative influence on the other two children.
Jon:
My strongest feeling about Jon is hopeful. I also am concerned for him, but less so than Sam. He seems to be getting his act together. Jon is a lot of fun. I enjoy being with him much more than Sam at this point.
Jon made a big step by coming home again. He wanted to get away from the destructive, dysfunctional behaviors of his brother. This is a very encouraging step for him.
My desire to help Jon is very strong. I want to support him in getting his life back on track.
Jeanae:
My strongest feeling about Jeanae is love. I enjoy being with her. I am a bit concerned for her as well. She has hit an emotional and spiritual speed bump. However, as I told her recently, teenage angst is simply something we all have to go through. I do not intend to save her from that. She is creating a lot of drama. Sometimes she can be very challenging. Still, she loves you and me, and I love her very much.
I need for her to do well in school, get herself educated, and go on with her life. I am looking forward to her becoming an adult. It will be very nice when it is just you and me again. Eventually, grandchildren would be nice.
On a whole, I enjoy my children but would love to see more of you, and would not mind if they became independent at all. My feelings toward you are very, very strong. I enjoy being with you more than the children, much as I love them. I doubt very seriously that I will have much of an empty nest syndrome when the leave.
With the possible exception of Jeanae. It will be a wrench watching her move out. I doubt that will happen before she gets married, though. So no worries.
In the meantime, I am enjoying being a father of young adults and teenagers (other than Sam), and find this phase of life to be very satisfying.
I will miss you today. I loved sleeping with you last night. You are my poonie!
Love,
Me
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
HDIF about the way we share daily responsibilities? DYFF.
Dear LORD:
Thank you for Ruth. She is such a blessing to me. Thank you that we are married. Thank you for all that you have brought us through. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was the delight you showed in the puppies as they cavorted in the dog park. Your smile and laugh at watching Po-Po tear across the grass was infectious.
The way I feel about the way we share daily responsibilities is open.
Open to you. Open to the LORD. Open to whatever you and the LORD need for me to do around the house.
Today when we were in the kitchen cooking it was really great. The flow between us was awesome. We were relaxed and happy together. The creativity was really flowing. There was such a great smell.
I had a great time.
I was a little sad and lonely when you left me to finish washing up. But that's OK. I understand that you needed to finish your office. I mostly just wanted to keep being with you. Like I have told you this weekend, I am drinking in the time to be with you. I love to just be in your presence. I find it very comforting to sit here right now, typing this, with you close to me.
I need to keep Jeanae on task as well. She tends to leave little piles. Like a rabbit. Little piles of clothes and such. I regard that as mostly my responsibility, but you are welcome to weigh in on that as well. She is pampered, but I would prefer to avoid her becoming spoiled.
All that being said, my strongest feeling about how we share responsibilities is open and receptive to you in that area. Open in that I am trying with all my heart to listen to what you need and respond. Open like I was when I started to listen to you better.
So please tell me what you need from me. I will do my very best to be what you need me to be in the area of practical responsibilities.
You are my heart.
Love,
Me
Thank you for Ruth. She is such a blessing to me. Thank you that we are married. Thank you for all that you have brought us through. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was the delight you showed in the puppies as they cavorted in the dog park. Your smile and laugh at watching Po-Po tear across the grass was infectious.
The way I feel about the way we share daily responsibilities is open.
Open to you. Open to the LORD. Open to whatever you and the LORD need for me to do around the house.
Today when we were in the kitchen cooking it was really great. The flow between us was awesome. We were relaxed and happy together. The creativity was really flowing. There was such a great smell.
I had a great time.
I was a little sad and lonely when you left me to finish washing up. But that's OK. I understand that you needed to finish your office. I mostly just wanted to keep being with you. Like I have told you this weekend, I am drinking in the time to be with you. I love to just be in your presence. I find it very comforting to sit here right now, typing this, with you close to me.
I need to keep Jeanae on task as well. She tends to leave little piles. Like a rabbit. Little piles of clothes and such. I regard that as mostly my responsibility, but you are welcome to weigh in on that as well. She is pampered, but I would prefer to avoid her becoming spoiled.
All that being said, my strongest feeling about how we share responsibilities is open and receptive to you in that area. Open in that I am trying with all my heart to listen to what you need and respond. Open like I was when I started to listen to you better.
So please tell me what you need from me. I will do my very best to be what you need me to be in the area of practical responsibilities.
You are my heart.
Love,
Me
Saturday, December 22, 2007
HDIF about our relationship at this point? DYFF.
Dear LORD:
Thank you so much for Ruth. She is so dear to me. I love her with all my heart. Help me to love her fully and completely, with all of my being, in a way that she feels totally loved. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ tonight was the loving way that you apologized to your daughter and me about the misunderstanding in the car. I loved watching you talk to your daughter on the phone. You were so gentle and loving towards her, so full of grace.
My strongest feeling about you at this point is love. I am also very happy to be in your presence. There is still a little bit of insecurity and tentativeness in certain areas, notably sex. We can dialog on that later if you like.
But by far, my strongest feeling about you is love. I love you. I have that feeling whenever I am with you. I feel happy and bubbly inside. You are so beautiful to me. I find you desirable in every way imaginable. I am utterly fascinated and enchanted by you. I find you more desirable and interesting, if possible, than when we first met.
My love for you at this point is different from my first love. The first love was not based upon knowledge. It had not been tempered by shared pain. It was an idealistic love, a love of an image, not of someone I truly knew.
Now I know you. We have been through the testing fire. You and I have suffered greatly. We have caused each other great pain, as well as having pain from the trials of this life. In both cases, the pain has tempered and strengthened our feelings for each other. Certainly, they have strengthened my love for you.
I think we had a choice of two paths: One in which the pain consumed and destroyed us, in the process destroying our love for each other and converting it into hatred, anger, resentment, pride, bitterness and so forth. That was the unforgiving path.
We chose another path. We forgave one another. This was a gift which was granted to us by the Father. We accepted the pain we caused each other for what it was: A gift. If we had to experience that pain in order to have the joy we now have, it was all worthwhile. We truly brought forth beauty from ashes.
My love for you is very, very strong. It often consumes me. I gaze at you and feel deep, pure, sudden joy at the knowledge that you are my beloved, and that I will spend my entire life with you. I desire no other. You are and will always be my one true love, granted to me by God to be my wife, my helpmate, my closest friend and companion, for this life. And forever.
Love,
Me
Thank you so much for Ruth. She is so dear to me. I love her with all my heart. Help me to love her fully and completely, with all of my being, in a way that she feels totally loved. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ tonight was the loving way that you apologized to your daughter and me about the misunderstanding in the car. I loved watching you talk to your daughter on the phone. You were so gentle and loving towards her, so full of grace.
My strongest feeling about you at this point is love. I am also very happy to be in your presence. There is still a little bit of insecurity and tentativeness in certain areas, notably sex. We can dialog on that later if you like.
But by far, my strongest feeling about you is love. I love you. I have that feeling whenever I am with you. I feel happy and bubbly inside. You are so beautiful to me. I find you desirable in every way imaginable. I am utterly fascinated and enchanted by you. I find you more desirable and interesting, if possible, than when we first met.
My love for you at this point is different from my first love. The first love was not based upon knowledge. It had not been tempered by shared pain. It was an idealistic love, a love of an image, not of someone I truly knew.
Now I know you. We have been through the testing fire. You and I have suffered greatly. We have caused each other great pain, as well as having pain from the trials of this life. In both cases, the pain has tempered and strengthened our feelings for each other. Certainly, they have strengthened my love for you.
I think we had a choice of two paths: One in which the pain consumed and destroyed us, in the process destroying our love for each other and converting it into hatred, anger, resentment, pride, bitterness and so forth. That was the unforgiving path.
We chose another path. We forgave one another. This was a gift which was granted to us by the Father. We accepted the pain we caused each other for what it was: A gift. If we had to experience that pain in order to have the joy we now have, it was all worthwhile. We truly brought forth beauty from ashes.
My love for you is very, very strong. It often consumes me. I gaze at you and feel deep, pure, sudden joy at the knowledge that you are my beloved, and that I will spend my entire life with you. I desire no other. You are and will always be my one true love, granted to me by God to be my wife, my helpmate, my closest friend and companion, for this life. And forever.
Love,
Me
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
HDIF about our experience at Grace last Sunday? DYFF.
Dear LORD:
Thank you for our reconnecting at Grace Church. It was very precious to be there.
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was the wonderful hug you gave me at the dinner table. I felt so close to you being at the dinner table together as a couple. Yes!
The way I felt at Grace Church this Sunday was connected. It was very special to have all of the people we knew when we were there before come up and greet us so warmly. I felt warmed and comforted in my heart.
Also the worship Sunday morning was glorious. Worship does deep heart surgery on me. I can actually feel the darkness lifting. It is a light being pored out in my heart. I need it like I need air, light and water. It fills my heart with joy.
The message that Kendrick preached was also very pertinent to my situation. As you saw from my last dialog, I am deeply distressed concerning my health, and desperately need God to do something about that. The message about hope was exactly right for me at that moment. I had lost hope. I needed to remember that God loves me, and my hope is in Him.
TBPH, I do not think that Vintage 21 is manifestly better than Grace Church. So far, we have not found anything better than Grace. As I told you tonight, there are many things about Grace Church that I disagree with, find annoying, and so forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is easy to be a critic.
We need to be forces for change in a Godly way.
I still would like to travel to Southern California and visit Mosaic. I am very attracted by the ministry of ERM. He gets it more than anyone else that I have connected with in the past few years. There is a conference there in January. Interested?
For now, though, while we live in NC, until God says otherwise, my vote would be to be connected to Grace Church and the saints there. What do you say?
Love,
Me
Thank you for our reconnecting at Grace Church. It was very precious to be there.
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was the wonderful hug you gave me at the dinner table. I felt so close to you being at the dinner table together as a couple. Yes!
The way I felt at Grace Church this Sunday was connected. It was very special to have all of the people we knew when we were there before come up and greet us so warmly. I felt warmed and comforted in my heart.
Also the worship Sunday morning was glorious. Worship does deep heart surgery on me. I can actually feel the darkness lifting. It is a light being pored out in my heart. I need it like I need air, light and water. It fills my heart with joy.
The message that Kendrick preached was also very pertinent to my situation. As you saw from my last dialog, I am deeply distressed concerning my health, and desperately need God to do something about that. The message about hope was exactly right for me at that moment. I had lost hope. I needed to remember that God loves me, and my hope is in Him.
TBPH, I do not think that Vintage 21 is manifestly better than Grace Church. So far, we have not found anything better than Grace. As I told you tonight, there are many things about Grace Church that I disagree with, find annoying, and so forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is easy to be a critic.
We need to be forces for change in a Godly way.
I still would like to travel to Southern California and visit Mosaic. I am very attracted by the ministry of ERM. He gets it more than anyone else that I have connected with in the past few years. There is a conference there in January. Interested?
For now, though, while we live in NC, until God says otherwise, my vote would be to be connected to Grace Church and the saints there. What do you say?
Love,
Me
Saturday, December 15, 2007
How do I feel about the recent activity regarding my health?
Dear LORD:
Please help me with my health. I am sick and I need to get well. Thank you for putting me in touch with Dr. Sharpe. Guide him in the area of my healing. Let this be the one that works. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was my kiss when you left the house, and correcting me about how you did give me one. It made my day that you actually did kiss me. I know it seems silly, as it is such a little thing. But it is very important to me and it means so much to me that you pay attention to this.
The way I feel about my health is stressed out, anxiety ridden, frustrated, depressed, and filled with despair. I have been trying to ignore these feelings, as I usually do, but they keep coming to the surface.
I have made the appointment with Dr. Sharpe pretty much my last hope in resolving this issue. I am very hopeful that it will work this time. Once he prescribes a solution, you may be sure that I will be extremely compliant. The feeling that I had when I was in his office was one of being overwhelmed with grief and longing. I was on the verge of tears as I described my condition, as I was required to get in touch with my feelings as I did so. I realized at that moment that I am dying from this disease. If I do not resolve this issue eventually, it will take me down one way or another. I do not want to go there.
It is frustrating in the extreme that we have invested so much of our precious lives and treasure in search for a solution to this problem. It is only skin after all. It is just supposed to sit there on the outside of your body doing its job. Not making your life miserable and insufferable.
Anyway, as I sat there in Dr. Sharpe's office and I described the litany of symptoms that I have, and the trendline of how they are getting worse and worse all the time, I found myself filled with a feeling which is difficult to describe. It's like everything came together in that moment in time. I understood then more clearly what I am dealing with than I have ever done before. I know the stakes. It was truly a moment of clarity.
The worst of it was describing what happened to my father. I do not know if you remember how bad it was towards the end. His entire body was falling to dust. All of his nails were crumbling into a chaotic mass of something like dried, rotten cardboard. When you touched him, massive clouds of dusty particles would fly everywhere.
If the cancer had not killed him, the psoriasis would have eventually.
I really do not want to do that. I must become healthy again. Much of my life, I have been able to ignore my body. It pretty much just clicked along on its own. I could neglect it, feed it crap, drink alcohol and the like. It took all of that abuse with no problem at all.
No longer. My body has become my enemy. It hunts me, stalking me down. I can run, but I cannot hide. Sooner or later, it is going to track me down and make the kill.
And that is perhaps my strongest feeling about my body and its abuse of me: Anger, betrayal, unfairness. A feeling of righteous indignation. Like what did I do to deserve this? Why me? You get the idea.
If this feeling had a color, it would be the bright, burning red of the bull fighter's cape. It is like the feeling that you get when everything is just too much, combine frustration at your job with your kids, with your car acting up, and boom! You overflow into a massive pool of rage. You find yourself out of control. You lash out at the only target you have handy: Yourself or some inanimate object. Screaming impotent cries of rage against an uncaring sky.
All of which accomplishes precisely nothing. All of which I cannot begin to tell you how tired I am of feeling that.
Somehow, I must make peace with my body. I must end the war within my physical being. I must find a way to make my body my friend again.
I beg you for your help, love and support as I go through this. With all of the challenges that I have faced in my life, this may be the greatest.
Love,
Me
Please help me with my health. I am sick and I need to get well. Thank you for putting me in touch with Dr. Sharpe. Guide him in the area of my healing. Let this be the one that works. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was my kiss when you left the house, and correcting me about how you did give me one. It made my day that you actually did kiss me. I know it seems silly, as it is such a little thing. But it is very important to me and it means so much to me that you pay attention to this.
The way I feel about my health is stressed out, anxiety ridden, frustrated, depressed, and filled with despair. I have been trying to ignore these feelings, as I usually do, but they keep coming to the surface.
I have made the appointment with Dr. Sharpe pretty much my last hope in resolving this issue. I am very hopeful that it will work this time. Once he prescribes a solution, you may be sure that I will be extremely compliant. The feeling that I had when I was in his office was one of being overwhelmed with grief and longing. I was on the verge of tears as I described my condition, as I was required to get in touch with my feelings as I did so. I realized at that moment that I am dying from this disease. If I do not resolve this issue eventually, it will take me down one way or another. I do not want to go there.
It is frustrating in the extreme that we have invested so much of our precious lives and treasure in search for a solution to this problem. It is only skin after all. It is just supposed to sit there on the outside of your body doing its job. Not making your life miserable and insufferable.
Anyway, as I sat there in Dr. Sharpe's office and I described the litany of symptoms that I have, and the trendline of how they are getting worse and worse all the time, I found myself filled with a feeling which is difficult to describe. It's like everything came together in that moment in time. I understood then more clearly what I am dealing with than I have ever done before. I know the stakes. It was truly a moment of clarity.
The worst of it was describing what happened to my father. I do not know if you remember how bad it was towards the end. His entire body was falling to dust. All of his nails were crumbling into a chaotic mass of something like dried, rotten cardboard. When you touched him, massive clouds of dusty particles would fly everywhere.
If the cancer had not killed him, the psoriasis would have eventually.
I really do not want to do that. I must become healthy again. Much of my life, I have been able to ignore my body. It pretty much just clicked along on its own. I could neglect it, feed it crap, drink alcohol and the like. It took all of that abuse with no problem at all.
No longer. My body has become my enemy. It hunts me, stalking me down. I can run, but I cannot hide. Sooner or later, it is going to track me down and make the kill.
And that is perhaps my strongest feeling about my body and its abuse of me: Anger, betrayal, unfairness. A feeling of righteous indignation. Like what did I do to deserve this? Why me? You get the idea.
If this feeling had a color, it would be the bright, burning red of the bull fighter's cape. It is like the feeling that you get when everything is just too much, combine frustration at your job with your kids, with your car acting up, and boom! You overflow into a massive pool of rage. You find yourself out of control. You lash out at the only target you have handy: Yourself or some inanimate object. Screaming impotent cries of rage against an uncaring sky.
All of which accomplishes precisely nothing. All of which I cannot begin to tell you how tired I am of feeling that.
Somehow, I must make peace with my body. I must end the war within my physical being. I must find a way to make my body my friend again.
I beg you for your help, love and support as I go through this. With all of the challenges that I have faced in my life, this may be the greatest.
Love,
Me
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
We have not dialogued for almost one week. HDIFAT?
Dear LORD:
Help us to remain faithful to dialogging. It is so important. We must remain connected and intimate, and dialogging is such an important part of that. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was being sensitive to my body and knowing that I needed to go to the health club. You knew me better than I knew myself! You are so special and considerate of me!
I have missed dialogging. I did not want to be demanding of you while you were sick, so I did not push our continuing to dialog. I waited for you to feel better. I am so glad that you feel better now.
I find dialogging very special. It is a special way for me to connect to you in the area of emotions. I have been a cold, unemotional person for much of my life. This was because my emotions were so profoundly toxic and powerfully negative that if I ever allowed myself to feel them fully, I was afraid I would lose myself in them.
Knowing you has allowed me to become more emotionally. This is because the process of losing our way and then rediscovering it has brought many emotions to the surface. I am feeling now.
I feel like the character in the movie equilibrium. Once he stops taking his "dose", he begins to feel emotions. That's what this feels like. An awakening to a new state.
I always wondered why I so profoundly related to the struggle of Data in the TV series Star Trek TNG. He wanted so badly to have emotions. Yet he saw how humans struggled with them. This is how I felt. In many ways I have been cut off from simply human feelings most of my life. I simply did not give myself the luxury of feeling them. Or if I did they terrified me, with their gruesome, brutal power. I can now face them and deal with them more functionally and fully than I have ever been able to do. This is the result of the growth in life that has occurred in me from the recovery of our love and tenderness.
I feel. I have feelings now. Dialogging gets me in touch with those feelings. They are amazing. I am tired right now. Profoundly and amazingly tired. But that's OK. It is simply a feeling.
I have also been in a lot of pain. Emotions are like physical pain and pleasure in a way. We use the same verb, to feel, for both sensations. I am in a state of constant physical discomfort. I have learned to not feel this. I do not think that is a good thing anymore. I am tired of having to not feel. I want to experience these feelings as well. I want to be well again.
I need your help with that. Maybe we can dialog on that later.
I felt wistful and sad that we were not dialogging, but now we are again, so I feel happy. My feeling of being happy is like a sunflower. It is a joyful feeling. I like to dialog with you soooo much. It is a wonderful way for us to share our feelings. If it were a color, it would be bright sunny yellow.
Your love and our relationship fill me with joy and hope. When we are not talking, spending time together, or such, I feel sad and lonely. When we get to be together and talk, or hang out, I am happy and content. I really want to be with you and to be connected with you sooo much. I love you dearly.
Love,
Me
Help us to remain faithful to dialogging. It is so important. We must remain connected and intimate, and dialogging is such an important part of that. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was being sensitive to my body and knowing that I needed to go to the health club. You knew me better than I knew myself! You are so special and considerate of me!
I have missed dialogging. I did not want to be demanding of you while you were sick, so I did not push our continuing to dialog. I waited for you to feel better. I am so glad that you feel better now.
I find dialogging very special. It is a special way for me to connect to you in the area of emotions. I have been a cold, unemotional person for much of my life. This was because my emotions were so profoundly toxic and powerfully negative that if I ever allowed myself to feel them fully, I was afraid I would lose myself in them.
Knowing you has allowed me to become more emotionally. This is because the process of losing our way and then rediscovering it has brought many emotions to the surface. I am feeling now.
I feel like the character in the movie equilibrium. Once he stops taking his "dose", he begins to feel emotions. That's what this feels like. An awakening to a new state.
I always wondered why I so profoundly related to the struggle of Data in the TV series Star Trek TNG. He wanted so badly to have emotions. Yet he saw how humans struggled with them. This is how I felt. In many ways I have been cut off from simply human feelings most of my life. I simply did not give myself the luxury of feeling them. Or if I did they terrified me, with their gruesome, brutal power. I can now face them and deal with them more functionally and fully than I have ever been able to do. This is the result of the growth in life that has occurred in me from the recovery of our love and tenderness.
I feel. I have feelings now. Dialogging gets me in touch with those feelings. They are amazing. I am tired right now. Profoundly and amazingly tired. But that's OK. It is simply a feeling.
I have also been in a lot of pain. Emotions are like physical pain and pleasure in a way. We use the same verb, to feel, for both sensations. I am in a state of constant physical discomfort. I have learned to not feel this. I do not think that is a good thing anymore. I am tired of having to not feel. I want to experience these feelings as well. I want to be well again.
I need your help with that. Maybe we can dialog on that later.
I felt wistful and sad that we were not dialogging, but now we are again, so I feel happy. My feeling of being happy is like a sunflower. It is a joyful feeling. I like to dialog with you soooo much. It is a wonderful way for us to share our feelings. If it were a color, it would be bright sunny yellow.
Your love and our relationship fill me with joy and hope. When we are not talking, spending time together, or such, I feel sad and lonely. When we get to be together and talk, or hang out, I am happy and content. I really want to be with you and to be connected with you sooo much. I love you dearly.
Love,
Me
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
What do you think about Jon moving home for a while? HDIFAMA?
Dear LORD:
Please help us to help Jon with getting on with his life. Let us be a positive influence on this young man, who has such great potential. Be with us in this time. Let us become a loving and compassionate picture of God's love to him. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was getting me avocado rolls from the Cheesecake factory. Those are my favorite! It was very special that you thought of me in this way. They were still hot when I picked you up! How very considerate and touching that you did that!
I believe that the situation with Jon is fraught with risk, but also pregnant with great opportunity. Our relationship is now strong enough, that the LORD obviously trusts us to handle this appropriately.
The way we could blow this is of course to treat him like a child again, and to become hyper controlling, meddling, opinionated, and so forth parents. Let us avoid this fate.
The way we could absolutely be a huge positive influence on Jon is to trust him to make the right choices (subject to evidence to the contrary of course), and to assume quietly (while soaking the situation in prayer) that he will not abuse that trust. I pray to God that he does not. If Jon repeats the mistakes his brother made we could lose him for a long, long time, as we have apparently lost Sam.
I think this is the crucible for Jon. He is disgusted with himself right now. He wants to clean up his act and get on with his life in a more productive manner. We can definitely help him with that. In the process, we can influence him to give God another look, and perhaps hook him up with some Christians who do not suck as much as the others he has know up until now. Who knows what God may do?
The way I feel about this is hopeful and excited. I am happy that Jon is moving home actually. Although I resisted it at first, I think it will be a good time for us. He is a really cute kid in many respect. He is certainly charming and funny. Jeanae loves him dearly and gets along with him very well. They are a lot of fun to watch interact. It may be the best time we have ever spent with our son. And it may be over too soon, before we even know it.
I feel hopeful in the same manner I felt hopeful about you when I spoke to you on the phone from Baton Rouge. It was like that. I even said to Jeanae on that occasion "This may be it. This may be the time she comes around." I feel that way about Jon. He has seen what the wages of sin are. He has witnessed it in his brother and Kate. He is disgusted. That's are really, really hopeful sign.
Let us continue to pray fervently and frequently for our son. He needs us now. Let us remain one in our relationship in the areas of what we will and will not tolerate. (No alcohol or drugs in our house, ever. No smoking in the house either. And no girls in the house without an adult present. I want no illicit activity in this house at all.) For now, I will simply assume that Jon will be smart and use common sense. I think he will. I will be vigilant for signs to the contrary. I would like for us to remain one in this attitude of trust and vigilence.
Aside from that, I am hopeful. Who knows what God may do through us and our daughter in the life of this precious one?
Love,
Me
Please help us to help Jon with getting on with his life. Let us be a positive influence on this young man, who has such great potential. Be with us in this time. Let us become a loving and compassionate picture of God's love to him. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was getting me avocado rolls from the Cheesecake factory. Those are my favorite! It was very special that you thought of me in this way. They were still hot when I picked you up! How very considerate and touching that you did that!
I believe that the situation with Jon is fraught with risk, but also pregnant with great opportunity. Our relationship is now strong enough, that the LORD obviously trusts us to handle this appropriately.
The way we could blow this is of course to treat him like a child again, and to become hyper controlling, meddling, opinionated, and so forth parents. Let us avoid this fate.
The way we could absolutely be a huge positive influence on Jon is to trust him to make the right choices (subject to evidence to the contrary of course), and to assume quietly (while soaking the situation in prayer) that he will not abuse that trust. I pray to God that he does not. If Jon repeats the mistakes his brother made we could lose him for a long, long time, as we have apparently lost Sam.
I think this is the crucible for Jon. He is disgusted with himself right now. He wants to clean up his act and get on with his life in a more productive manner. We can definitely help him with that. In the process, we can influence him to give God another look, and perhaps hook him up with some Christians who do not suck as much as the others he has know up until now. Who knows what God may do?
The way I feel about this is hopeful and excited. I am happy that Jon is moving home actually. Although I resisted it at first, I think it will be a good time for us. He is a really cute kid in many respect. He is certainly charming and funny. Jeanae loves him dearly and gets along with him very well. They are a lot of fun to watch interact. It may be the best time we have ever spent with our son. And it may be over too soon, before we even know it.
I feel hopeful in the same manner I felt hopeful about you when I spoke to you on the phone from Baton Rouge. It was like that. I even said to Jeanae on that occasion "This may be it. This may be the time she comes around." I feel that way about Jon. He has seen what the wages of sin are. He has witnessed it in his brother and Kate. He is disgusted. That's are really, really hopeful sign.
Let us continue to pray fervently and frequently for our son. He needs us now. Let us remain one in our relationship in the areas of what we will and will not tolerate. (No alcohol or drugs in our house, ever. No smoking in the house either. And no girls in the house without an adult present. I want no illicit activity in this house at all.) For now, I will simply assume that Jon will be smart and use common sense. I think he will. I will be vigilant for signs to the contrary. I would like for us to remain one in this attitude of trust and vigilence.
Aside from that, I am hopeful. Who knows what God may do through us and our daughter in the life of this precious one?
Love,
Me
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