Based on the conflict we had today, how do I define the term "Choose Your Battles Wisely"? DYFF.

MSL:

Thank you for the opportunity to dialog again. It has been too long. Your grace is pored out in our relationship on a daily basis. Thank you for your grace and provision for us in the area of our relationship.

MDDL:

Your MEQ today was telling me that you love me, you forgive me, and you want to work on our relationship. Your willingness to work on "us" is abundant and unending. There is simply no limit to it. I simply have to make a step towards you, and you take the step towards me. That has always been my experience. In the process, you and I go to another level.

The event that happened this morning had a lot to do with miscommunication, assumptions, and the like. The devil was busy at work on that occasion. In regards to your question, I suppose I would define the term "Choose your battles wisely" as follows:

1. In a given conflict, figure out if what you are fighting for matters and, more importantly, matter enough to justify the wear and tear on our relationship. Not all conflicts matter. Believe me, I overlook the vast, vast majority of stuff. And I know that you do too. I know that I have a quirky, iconoclastic, aberrational personality. I can grind on you. It is part of my nature to be a bit prickly at times. You are also quite intense, as you have noted on more than one occasion. We both have our personality issues in other words. So "choose your battles wisely" means that we need to overlook the trivial, meaningless and silly issues that might otherwise cause us to become conflicted.
2. On the other hand, the issues we really need to work through are the issues that really matter. It is hard to know how to define this really. But the important thing is that we know it when we see it.

In terms of the conflict we had this afternoon, in my view, this was not a battle I chose wisely. I should have simply gone with the fact that you were not going to be available, and dealt with it from there. I got my feelings hurt because I thought you were being unreasonable. It was only when I probed further that I found that your issue had to do with my emotional reaction to the events of Monday (when I went into emotional meltdown due to the fact that we missed the inspector's appointment). In the process, you felt that I blamed you (woulda, coulda, shoulda) and thus you decided to not be involved in this project in any further manner.

Actually, I was not annoyed with you. I was annoyed with Gary. As I expressed today (having made a trip back to the house, only to have to go back to Whole Foods a second time), Gary obviously has some issues. (Having told me that I did not need to be here, he then reversed himself, making me come back to the house. Once I was here, he reversed himself again, stating it was useless for me to be here. Go figure.)

Anyway, the project is done now, and I am glad about that. We finally have a new hot water heater, have unlimited hot water, and that is going to be a great thing for both of us. I don't know about you, but I plan to take lots and lots of baths in that new bathtub.

As annoyed as I am at Felix, one thing I will say: The advice to buy that new bathtub was good advice. I would not be nearly as happy with the bathroom as I am without that new tub. It was well worth the money.

To describe my feelings fully, I am excited about the new water heater, but I regret causing us to go through the stress of another conflict. My feeling is similar to the feeling of regret I had when we went to Nantahala, and it turned out to be such a foolish decision. You were certainly right that the children did not deserve the trust that I gave them in that occasion. I ended up being the chump in that situation, for sure. I am sorry that I yelled and cursed at you today. That was a bad thing for me to do. I really apologize for being a poopster. Will you please forgive me?

My feeling of regret is pretty strong, about an 8. It is like the color grey. Like a cloudy, rainy day, when you feel oppressed and gloomy. All day you don't want to go outside. You just hold up and hope it blows over.

Love,
Me