How involved should we get with our children's relastionships. HDIFAT?

Dear LORD:

Thank you that we were able to help our children yesterday with their issues. Thank you that no one got hurt or ended up in jail. Thank you that we are still on good terms with our kids. Amen!

MDDL:

You MEQ today was putting up with my restlessness last night without kicking me out of the bed. Thank you so much for that! I had a very rough night as you can tell. It was sweet of you to ask me what was wrong without complaining or asking me to move. As you can tell, the skin issue is very much stress related, and last night was pretty stressful.

I suppose my answer to this question would be that this is somewhat our children's call. We got way more involved last night than we have ever been, that's for sure. In the process, we found out things about our children (especially about Sam and Jon) that I frankly think we did not want to know. I know I have been trying to avoid knowing that much. It is simply uncomfortable to know that your kids are misbehaving this badly with their lives.

My tendency is to want to distance myself from them because their lifestyle is so chaotic and stressful. They are creating so much drama for themselves it is ridiculous. With all of the sex, drugs and rock and roll going on, it is amazing that they have done as well as they have. I know that I could not live in an environment that chaotic, stressful and out of control.

So my tendency is to want to pull way back out of self preservation. I am not sure that is the right response, though. If something very serious had happened last night, and our kids had ended up hurt, in jail, or worse, I am sure we would regret if we did nothing to help them. It was undoubtedly a divine intervention that got us involved. Now we are involved whether we like it or not. That is certainly pushing the limits on my coping mechanism. I wrestled all night in my dreams about Sam, Kate, Jon, and all the rest. So this is certainly taking an emotional toll on me. I am sure it is doing the same for you.

But, what choice do we have? They are our kids. We have a strong connection to them regardless of whether we agree with their lifestyles or not. My parents and I became very estranged for many years because of things I did in my life. (Most of that was related to my becoming a Christian, but still.) I would like for us to have a close, loving relationship with our kids for the rest of our lives. In the same nature as Y'Shua, I would want to do that without any expectations on my part as to their performance. Accept them where they are in other words. Yes, I do have some expectations and aspirations for them. So far, they are not living up to those very much, if at all. But I cannot stop loving them.

I keep getting back to the prodigal son from the Gospel of Luke. The attitude of the father was to look for his son to return to him. He kept going out day after day to a hill looking off to see if his son was returning. Eventually, his son returned, and then he said "this son of mine who was dead is alive again." How could he not rejoice? Perhaps our son Sam is beginning to come to life again. That would be wonderful. I would love to be there when that happens.

In terms of their relationships, I suppose that is simply another aspect of being involved in their lives. Their relationships are part of who they are. I had a check in my spirit about Kate from the moment I first met her. I knew that she was going to cause a lot of trouble. Sam now agrees that this is the case. Whether he is being stupid as well (with all of the sneaking around, snooping in Jon's email and such) is certainly debatable. I am not going to go there with him. He needs to work that out with Jon. They have certainly done a lot of damage to each other in the process, that's for sure. Whether their relationship can ever be healed is something we need to pray about. That is a relationship we should certainly be involved in, if for no other purpose than to make them go out in the garage and get their stuff worked out.

My feeling right now about this is unsettled. I have a pit in my stomach. I did not sleep very well. I need to do yoga. I need to dump this stress and let it go. I am trying to be Present, in the moment, but it is difficult. The worrier in me is very strong right now. I am concerned for my sons. I do not know how to stop doing that.

The feeling is like the unsettled feeling when you realize your bank account is overdrawn. A sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. The color is a battleship grey. It feels heavy, like you are walking through sand. Leaden. It is not a pleasant feeling. I am somewhat grieving for my son, just like the father in Luke. I want my son to return to me. I am concerned for him feeding on the pods the pigs are eating. I want to know he is OK. I am finding out that he is not OK. How can I not be concerned for him?

I will post now. Maybe we can connect further on this one.

Love,
Me