How do I feel about the battle raging between Sam and Jon and Jon moving out? DYFF.

Dear LORD:

Be with our sons. Help them to resolve their conflict. Help them realize how immature they are both being. And how selfish. Help us to be patient. It is difficult to talk to them without condemning them. Which would of course not be helpful. Give us your grace. Amen!

MDDL:

Your MEQ today was the loving way we worked together side by side to fix up the fish tank, and the way you kissed me while I was doing the filters. I love to be with you!

The way I feel about the two issues you raise is different, so this is really two questions. I will not belabor the issue, but will simply answer them both separately.

The way I feel about the battle raging between Sam and Jon is torn, grieved, conflicted, and sad. I suppose my strongest feeling is sad. It is truly sad to find out how stupid and sinful our boys are being. I suspected but did not know. Now I know. It is much more difficult to know, as you said recently. You said you really do not want to know that much about what our boys are up to. It is enough to know that they are up to no good. Dealing with the fallout and drama from their stupidity is horrifically sad and difficult for both of us. It simply fills me with grief.

The way I described my feelings, and I wept as I did so, on Friday night with Sam is that my attitude is the attitude of the father of the prodigal son, looking off to the hills for his son to return. I told Sam that I have been waiting for a long time for my sons to return. I do not expect them to be like me. That is not what I mean. I do expect them to live meaningful, thoughtful, mature and responsible lives. It is difficult to find any honor, nobility or virtue in their current lifestyles. I feel ashamed for them. It saddens me terribly.

The color is black. It is a feeling of grief. In terms of a shared experience it would be similar to the feelings that we shared at your father's funeral in Morgan City. Definitely a 10+. I have shed many tears over this since last week, and expect that there are many more to come.

But that after all was the plight of the father of the prodigal sons. I suppose my feelings should be no different. The sadness is there because I care and love my sons, and want them to live in a manner that is worthy of who they are.

Now, as far as Jon moving out, my feeling about that would be somewhat gleeful. I really want Jon to go on with his life, figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life here on this earth, stop wasting time playing WoW, and get his own space. If he wants to straighten up and get his life under control, then I would not be as strong on this issue. But with him acting the way he is, thinking with his penis, lying to me and you, screwing everything that wears skirts, etc., I just don't want him to live here anymore. I am hoping for a way to make that his decision and initiative. That would be my prayer. Let him figure out that he needs to be on his own himself, rather than us having to kick him out. Barring that, I suppose we are going to have to put him on a deadline, and push the issue.

Again, the way I feel about this is gleeful. This is our time. We need to be a couple, and be freed up from child responsibilities. Jeanae is almost out of the nest too. I would love for us to be able to travel, moving around on this earth, enjoying what it has to offer, without the worry and fret of naughty kids. Let them figure it out for themselves. I am through.

You already posted, so I will too.

Love,
Me