Dear LORD:
Thank you for providing a way for me to become sterile. My quiver is full. I do not want to have any more children. Thank you very much for the three beautiful children you have given Ruth and me. They are an amazing blessing. But I don't want any more children. At this point in our lives, they would be a burden. That's for sure. We need to find a way to stop having to worry about birth control. Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was the way you looked at me and told me that I am the love of your life. That totally touched my heart!
I have to admit that I am a bit nervous about the procedure. The last time I had this, it was not much fun. But I have more confidence in this group of folks than I did in the incompetent hack who did it the last time. I will have a general anesthetic and that's a good thing. They will probably not have to intubate me. I would prefer not to be tubed, if possible. I will have a very small incision and probably only a band aid, maybe with one stitch only.
There will be a bit of pain, but it will be over quickly, and then I will be sterile.
I have to admit that I am really looking forward to being sterile. I don't want to be afraid of having sex with you. I am always hesitant because I want to protect you from becoming pregnant. If you became pregnant at this point, that would be a very bad thing for you, and for our family.
You remember the time recently that we had unprotected sex when you were still on your period a little? I am still worried about that one. I do not want to have to worry anymore. I will sweat it out until you get your period again this month. It was great having sex that time, but not worth it if I worry about you becoming pregnant.
I just want to be able to go for it. When we are together and we have a moment of privacy and the mood hits us. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! There you have it! Wow!
That would be really really great.
So although I am a bit nervous about having the procedure, my strongest feeling is excitement that we will be able to have completely spontaneous, free, unfettered and unhindered SSSSSEEEEEXXXXXXX!!!!!!!
Yay!
My feeling about this is a 10. It is excitement, and it is decidedly erotic. I have all kinds of fantasies about it. My favorite form of sex is actually intercourse. When I get going, it feels like my penis is going to explode. It is sooooo great! And I know that it is your favorite too! And that is very exciting to me!
So the whole thing is like a bit feedback loop. You like it. I like it. I like it that you like it. And so on and so on.
To compare it to a shared experience it is like the excitement that I felt when we were kissing in Duke Garden. Or when you called me a few days and wanted me to come over so that we could be together "in private". OOOOOOOO! That was sooooooo exciting. I was happpppyyyyy!
When I think about us being able to just turn over in bed and start going for it, having a great sexual interlude, and the drift off to sleep in each other's arms. Ohhhhh! How that excites me.
You get the idea.
Very exciting.
So, yeah, I am going to sit on a pillow for a day or two. I am going to be knocked out while in the buff except for a flimsy hospital gown in a room full of strangers. Whatever. I will get over that. This is very much worth it, for you, for me, and for our relationship.
Love,
Me
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