Dear LORD:
Thank you for Retrouvaille. Thank you for the couples who are here. Be with Scott and Karey in their pain. Help them to heal. Touch Scott’s heart and cause him to turn to you. Thank you that my wife is here with me. Be with her as we dialog together. Help me to touch your heart in the area of our marriage.
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was the amazing story that you told me in the car on the way here. I loved the look into your past, and further understanding of you as a person. You certainly went through a terrible time in your education. I admire and respect you so much for having become the amazing person you are today in spite of these difficult issues.
The most important value in our relationship to me is Spirit. I would want for our marriage to reflect and mirror the Spirit of God in a way that people stand amazed that such a miraculous and godly marriage could exist in this dark time.
In terms of whether my behavior reflects this value, I would say honestly that it does so imperfectly. I strive daily to find a way to connect with you in the area of Spirit. My spiritual life is much more organic and less formal than many other Christians I know. Sometimes that can be an excuse for me to be a bit lazy. At the same time, given what we have to deal with, I do not want to raise high performance expectations. (We certainly dealt with performance oriented Christianity enough in the past to last us for the rest of our lives.)
The way I feel about my answer is dissatisfied. I am not satisfied with where we are presently in our marriage in the area of spiritual life. I suspect that that is a good thing. I have aspirations to be more. Being more cannot be a work of my flesh or something like that. It must itself be a work of the spirit. We need to pray together to figure out what that would look like and how we can become the couple God wants for us to be.
In terms of a shared experience it would be like how we felt when we were searching for a church home and ended up at Grace. Very dissatisfied with Grace, but at the same time committed to it because: A. We have nothing better at present; and B. We have many relationships that center around that organization. So Grace is certainly not what I want in terms of a church home, but it is what we have now. I have aspirations for more, but do not clearly see the direction to get there.
My feeling is about an 8. I will finish now, since we are under time constraints.
Love,
Me
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