Dear LORD:
Thank you for inventing sex. What a great idea! I love it! Amen!
MDDL:
Your MEQ today was wanting to make love, and doing all the crazy stuff to me you did in the kitchen. Wow! Even though we did not make love, you created a strong desire for me for you, which we will get to fulfill very soon, I hope!
The way I feel about our sexual relationship at this point in our relationship is liberated.
The way our relationship is now is carefree, relaxed and simple. The fact that you will not allow me to place performance expectations on myself is absolutely fantastic! No woman has ever done that before. It's like you have liberated me, setting free from the way my mind has worked.
I guess part of that is also a legacy from the toxic influence of Howard J. Browning. He was always talking about what a stud he was, and how well he could perform. The lesson I learned was that performance is important. I learned that at a fairly early age, and it has been a difficult lesson to unlearn.
I actually used to avoid sex with you before. It was just too intimidating. I enjoyed it, but I also feared my failure to perform. I was afraid that I would be labeled with the "i" word (impotent), which I regarded as a fate worse than death.
Of course, I am not impotent. Far from it. I possibly could have become so psychologically, if I had kept thinking the way I did. You have effectively saved me from that.
At this point, my attitude is that what happens, happens. And what happens is always great. I can relax. I can stop worrying about my erection. You have no idea how liberating that is!
Think of a caged animal, meant to run free, but tied up to a stake, miserable and alone. Suddenly, you set the animal free. You watch it run off into the hills, skipping and kicking up its heals. Free at last, free at last!
In terms of a shared experience, it would be like the feeling we had when we finally set ourselves free from The Local Church, and allowed ourselves to be simple, free, liberated Christians again. I know that process was very painful for you, and that may be a bad example. For me, it was very liberating. The day we decided not to go back was a great day. The day you finally came to the realization that The Local Church was an evil system was also a great day. I think you now realize as much as I did that that was a trap, just as my toxic way of thinking about sex was.
This feeling is an absolute 100! A color to describe it would be deep golden yellow, the color of the sunlight on your face on an absolutely beautiful day.
I am desperately, deeply and completely in love with you. I want to hold you, kiss you, love you. I am looking forward to finding you completely irresistible!
Love,
Me
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