Dear LORD:
Please help us to successfully move our household this weekend and take care of all of the things that need to be accomplished in our lives, including the closing, insurance, credit cards, my job, and everything else which is on our shoulders right now. We rest in your grace and trust you with it. Amen!
Dearest Ruth:
Your MEQ today was being willing to pack the house and help us get moved into our new home. You are a trooper!
The way I feel about moving this weekend is stressed and pressured. I feel like we are not prepared. I also feel like I failed you this week by having to be in a two day meeting and not being able to take time off to help you pack.
I don't know how to make this up to you. I feel really badly about this.
I am under such tremendous pressure and stress at work that I do not have the time or energy to devote to moving that I should. This is really bad. I do not want to be failing to support you in this way.
Moving is very stessful, no question. Our home being disrupted. Our lives being shifted to a new location and a new mode. Many changes in everyday lives. Routines becoming unstable.
It just makes me feel crazy. That's kind of how I feel. Edgy and off balance. Like I am not in control as much as I want to be. I also feel bothered and unhappy. Unhappy with myself and unhappy that the timing is coming down the way it is.
We have to move. There you have it. I am responsible for a big part of that. I need to help you. We are in this together. I want to help you in the worst way. I am just strapped out.
I feel like I am making excuses and I hate that. No excuses. We will move and somehow it will happen. Failure is not an option. We have a moving truck coming on Sunday. Come Hell or high water, the Browning family is moving to 811 Kimball Drive in Durham, North Carolina, on Sunday October 21, 2007. Amen!
Part of the problem is that I desperately need exercise. Thank God I made love to you this morning. You were incredible! I got to feel something positive in that moment. The closeness I felt with you as we held each other afterwards was amazing.
Of course, the demands came so quickly. How I wish I could have just lain there in your arms and gone back to sleep. And stayed there in that bed with you for the rest of the day. Or just worked with you on the house. That would have been heaven! I love being with you and spending time with you sooooooo much!
You are my treasure.
I guess my bottom line on how I feel about moving is pressure. That's the strongest feeling by far. It feels like a looming deadline in my job or in school. Some big project that has to be done by a certain time. And I am not ready. Not even close. I don't see how I am possibly going to pull it off. Pressure to perform and be brilliant on demand and on a schedule.
I somehow tend to pull that off. I guess I will this time too. I won't enjoy it though unless God shows up and makes a miracle happen. That was the case when we moved into this house. I was awestruck by the way that went down. God did that before. He can do it again.
Love,
Me
Friday, October 19, 2007
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